In a long-term relationship, you’re bound to encounter a number of hurdles, whether they be due to your individual growth and changes or external interferences that are out of your control. As for the latter, a common issue is having a mate that doesn’t get along with your friends and family — or vice versa. If you’re someone who’s familiar with this struggle, and it’s gotten ugly, you’ve probably wondered if you should break up with someone because of their family. And while this is obviously a worst case scenario, relationship experts note that you don’t want to treat this situation lightly, especially if you believe he or she is the one. Paulette Sherman has plenty of firsthand experience dealing with discord between romantic partners and one or more of their families. While you may not consider it an eminent threat to your relationship, it actually can play a huge role in your potential to go the distance as a couple. Sherman explains. Plus, it makes holidays , vacations, and challenging situations much easier when there is goodwill, support and mutual respect. It may first be helpful to try to identify the cause of this friction.
7 Tips For When Your Family Doesn’t Like Your SO
Relationships are hard enough without your family meddling in your business. But unfortunately it’s often the norm for opinions to fly freely — especially when your parents disapprove of your SO. When that’s the case, it can be tough to feel comfortable in your relationship, especially if your family is being all judge-y and mean and upset.
A family’s disapproval of your partner can be an incredibly awkward thing. Sometimes they may dislike your SO for no known reason, but you can just feel them quietly disapproving.
Many of us have been there. Therapists often see couples and families where following a standoff, one partner expects the other to immediately take their side and pay no attention to what other people who may be very important to their partner are saying. So how do we end up in these situations that often rumble on with peaks and troughs for years?
More importantly, how do we avoid them? Every family has its own individual unwritten but fully understood book of rules based on all sorts of things like culture, experience, tradition and gender balance. But of course after a while where once you smiled politely at the “well intended” comment, now, you just want to spit every time his or her mother suggests you could all holiday together.
All sense of giving an adult response to increasingly rude and irritating comments flies out the window. This may seem like a good idea in the heat of the moment but try to consider how it may affect your partner. Not only could it result in unhappiness for them but it could mean they end up resenting you. As with most things in life, getting the balance right is key. You never know, it may even end in happy families. She has a regular agony aunt column on the Relate website called Ask Ammanda where you can write in with your questions about sex and relationships to askammanda relate.
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If your parents can’t stand your significant other, it’s not the end of the world
It will probably happen to you at least once in your life. You’ll fall for somebody that your parents don’t like. Sometimes their disapproval will be valid, other times it will be irrational, but no matter what it will be hard for you to deal with. Before taking on the role of diplomat, or even worse the role of family agitator, there are some things that you need to examine.
Why are you dating this person? Be brutally honest.
If your parents don’t approve of a relationship, there probably has to be a of the best answers for what to do when your family hates your boyfriend. things to do if you’re dating someone your parents don’t approve of is to.
Shakespeare immortalized it in Romeo and Juliet. For all I know, a Neanderthal woman had a fight with her dad about her choice of her Cro-Magnon guy. My mother constantly complains. My wife cries. What do I do? My father goes on and on about illegal immigration whenever we visit. My wife tries to smile through it. We fight when we get home because she says I should stop him but I know nothing I can say is going to change him.
When Your Family Doesn’t Approve of Your Partner
By Chris Seiter. Your exes friends and family will be on his side and your friends and family will be on your side. Often times your loved ones will give you these patented speeches,.
You deserve to date someone who treats you like royalty, period. If your friends and family don’t have heart-eyes for them, they might Unless they’re jealous monsters, they aren’t randomly hating on your S.O. just to hate.
Last Updated: November 19, References. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model. This article has been viewed , times. Help them to be more at ease by talking with them, listening to their perspective, and responding to their concerns with respect. It may take time for your parents to like your boyfriend. Find ways for your parents and your boyfriend to see eye-to-eye through common interests. By making your boyfriend feel more like part of the family, you can show your parents why your relationship with him matters.
What to do when your friends and family hate your significant other
It can feel very easy to pick out toxic relationships from the outside. When your BFF’s boyfriend isn’t treating her well, you’re all over her case to end it. Or, when a celebrity’s significant other cheats on them , you let your opinion be known on Twitter. The same might not go when you’re in a toxic relationship, though. Yes, there are some red flags that really can’t be ignored.
If you really don’t like your significant other’s parents, should you break But when an overbearing parent doesn’t like you, the relationship can be doomed. You need to understand that you are dating someone’s baby, and.
Long gone are the days when you actively sought out a relationship that you knew mum and dad would disprove of, now you actually want someone you can invite home for a Sunday roast. Both sides should be polite to each other. Instead of throwing your partner or parents into the deep end, give everyone fair warning about what to expect from the other people. But bear in mind that anything negative you flag up to your parents about your partner will not be forgotten quickly.
Mix the two together as little as possible. If your parents are really starting to make things difficult with your partner, you need to talk to them about why they have reservations or bad feeling towards your partner and what their expectations are for improving the situation. Are you spending too much time with [your partner] and not enough with them?
Are their demands reasonable or childish?
Should You Break Up With Someone Because Of Their Family?
Search Questions or Ask New:. Top Rated Answers. Your family can not choose who you are dating. They can either accept it, or live without knowing what is going on in your life. Some parents think that you owe them something, you should never make decisions in your life base in what your parents think is the best for you. You are the owner of your on life.
Here are seven things you can do to smooth things over: 1. Hear your parents out. When you’re crazy in love with someone, the last thing you.
I recently realized my parent’s opinion of the next boyfriend I bring home is very important to me. I make I don’t necessarily have a problem with these crushes, but my family always does. They pester me with questions like, “Why can’t you bring home someone we actually like? But I can’t change who I am or who I like. You can’t help who you fall for, IMO.
It certainly puts me in an odd predicament: I don’t want to compromise my romantic desires just for the sake of appeasing my family, but I’ve also grown tired of hiding the people I’m dating from those I love.